#144 The Breaking Point & Apology

Posted on Tue Jan 10th, 2023 @ 8:48pm by Captain Rogue Green {Meji} & Commodore Cyndi Song

Mission: BUGS OH NO!!
Location: Bridge
Timeline: current

ON:

Having entered her quarters in a snit, Green had disrobed on her way to her bedroom, the trail of clothing left behind as she did so. Getting to her room she made a quick right face into her bathroom, and to the shower. Whatever was bothering her was boiling up from within, she could feel it, and she wanted to be in a certain place when that happened. Stepping into the shower stall she started the water, as hot as her skin could handle without relying on the Core. ~The Force~ she heard in her head, and not in her own voice tone, but definitely female. Once the water was running and she had fully wetted her body and hair, Green collapsed inside the stall of her own doing. Lying in the fetal position on her right side, knees clutched to her chest, Ro Green began to bawl. Heaving sobs shaking her body as she let it ride, not trying to stop the emotional tidal wave in any way. The hot water cascaded over her inert form as she cried, and after a good 15 minutes her body finally cried itself out.

Sitting up in the shower, putting her legs in the lotus position, she continued to sit in the steam and hot water, her eyes and body recovering from the tears and the sobbing. She had been holding so much in lately, so much anger, hate, and sorrow that the damn had finally cracked.

~You will be alright, Ro. It is the Force, not this Core you want it to be~

The voice in her head was now recognized, familiar. It was the Q she knew as Qeritas, the being who had introduced Ro to all this Force business to begin with. The one responsible for Ro being able to jump from this galaxy as who she was now, and into the other one where the Force was prevalent and a part of life there. Like the Core was here. "Then, the Force it shall be, Qeritas," she said in a low tone, barely able to hear herself over the water running. "However, we are Meji, and will never be those Jedi people. They are flawed, and their arrogance has been the cause of too much war and strife."

~From a certain point of view, I agree. However, if not for the Jedi Order then the Sith would have completely overrun their galaxy and sent it into darkness for centuries~

Ro's head nodded as she listened, knowing that what was said was true. But, she had her own reasons for not being a Jedi, and choosing to form the Meji Order. "That may be true but that is in their galaxy. This is my galaxy, and the Meji will protect this galaxy our way, with various disciplines all working together to protect the innocent and the downtrodden. Not having the Force as an ally will not prevent beings from joining, if they choose to."

~I commend you, Champion. Your thoughts and feelings on this have improved greatly since those many years ago when I gave you your gifts. The destruction of Jynxza, though hard, was a necessity. She was not going to change and would have become the equivalent of the Sith here in the Milky Way. You, yourself, almost fell~

"I did. My saving grace was the people around me. Jynxza had no one she could rely on, no one to speak with. Even when I tried to counsel her, her anger would not allow her to see reason. I am worried what her children will become."

~Worry not. I am watching them from afar~

Another nod was given at that, with green getting to her feet and shutting down the water. She sluiced as much water from her body as she could with her hands, then bent at the waist to squeeze and shake the water from her hair. Stepping from the stall she let her body air dry as she brushed out her damp-wet hair, then braided it into Dutch braids behind each ear. That took some time and her body dried while she worked at it, allowing her to dress in the khaki Starfleet garb she had decided on for planetary excursions, going through her quarters and collecting her soiled garments and putting them in the refresher. Once done she then turned from her sanctuary known as her quarters and exited, heading to the Bridge.

Arriving on the Bridge and seeing Cyndi over by her chair, standing before it as she read a PADD, Ro went over and gave her an apologetic expression as she began to speak. "You have my apologies as both Cyndi, and the Commodore. With all we've been through, and all we've lost, I kept pushing all my feelings into my core, my soul filled to the brim with it all. When you gave your orders for the distribution of away teams some of what you said had struck me wrong, and I became angry and resentful. Only after going to my quarters and completely breaking down, I realized what was wrong. Now, having cried myself out, I ask, humbly, for your forgiveness."

Cyndi handed the PADD over to her yeoman and turned to face Ro. "I thought it was something I'd done wrong. I do accept your apology. This ship and crew have been through a lot."

Ro shook Cyndi's hand, clasping her other over the top of it, a gesture of friendship and respect. "They have. WE have." She let the hand go. "It boiled over in me, finally. All the anger over loss, the sorrow culminating behind that. An emotional volcano I needed to purge. I'm just glad I did it now, this way, instead of during some emergency. I now know I too can suffer from PTSD, if I don't keep a close eye on myself."

"We all suffer from it, my quarters were a shambles, Paul between helping with the ship also spent hours cleaning up broken glass and such that I'd had a hissy fit and just threw things. I even broke the tank my snake is housed in. Good thing is I missed his food cage. It's forgotten Ro," Cyndi said hugging her something she seldom did on the bridge.

Green returned the hug, warmly and affectionately, but made it quick as the Commodore did. "I appreciate the understanding, Cyndi, truly. And, if you'll allow, I will now head down below to meet the Governor and his colony. As you cans see by the desert khakis, I'm ready. We should let the entire Science department go down if they choose. Not often do we get to study worlds on the brink of ascending to a better condition."

"Permission granted and I just might beam down as well. I'm still a scientist at heart," Cyndi commented.

"I don't see why not," Ro replied. "Resch is command qualified, so have him take the duty and come on down. There is no foreseeable danger so it wouldn't be against regs."

"Your doing a good job of twisting my arm. I'll grab a field kit out of storage and my microscope and Paul and I will be down. I have a well equipped science shuttle that has a small lab on it. Give me a few hours to tie up lose ends up here," Cyndi said.

"Sounds good," smiled Green. "I'm taking Euphrates, so I'll see you down there. Until then." Ro gave Cyndi a light squeeze to the upper arm as she went passed her and entered the lift, ready to go down and meet Dwight now that all her angst had been purged.

Cyndi grinned a chance to study and explore a new world was any scientists dream.

OFF: